Christmas Songs that don't suck

It's a cliche at this point to hate on Christmas music. Everyone knows, in their head or their heart, that it's lame, repetitive, and hasn't really had any new mainstream hits in ten years, Justin Bieber's awful Mistletoe beside. So, rather than just complain about it, I figured I could share, or re-share for those of you who happened to read my article in the Lakeland Mirror two years ago (hello to all three of you) my list of under appreciated go to's to spice up your holiday season.

Christmas Tree, Lady Gaga

Lady Gaga made a christmas song, and it's everything you hope it will be. With such lyrical gems as "My Christmas tree's delicious." "ho ho Christmas" (HAHA get it, like hoes! God we hope you do), and "and cheesy endless synth is Gaga at her Disco stick worst, but that's it's charm. Working as a self parody and a dance track, this song is the worst on the list, but also my most played.

Christmas- Clinic

Another creepy one, I don't even have a guess as to what the lyrics mean, but it doesn't matter at all. This song is all atmosphere- the quivering vocals, the long strings and echoing backup sound like a cold eerie December night. It takes advantage of the colder, darker feeling of the season, a complete opposite of canned, forced joy of most Christmas carols. 

Christmas Duel- Cyndi Lauper and the Chives

Sometimes you hate Christmas. It's normal, you've just gone broke from buying too many Kim Jong Ill novelty mints for stockings, you can't buy milk without hearing some tween queen sing Santa baby and making you feel dirty in places that will never come clean, and if no one else will put up a tree you sure as hell won't. Enter A Christmas Duel, the anti-Christmas carol that belts out Christmas misdeeds with a contagious glee, and the only Christmas song with Fuck in the chorus. With perfect arrangement and vocals, it's best listened to while watching the snow fall slowly while quickly downing a bottle of bourbon. 

Sufjan Stevens, Ding-a-ling-a-ring-a-ling

I'm actually a fan of Silver and gold, the album this comes from, as a whole, full of new arrangements to old school carols and interesting new Christmas songs, and is worth a listen. This song is probably my favorite of the bunch though. There's something about it's Christmas pageant gone David Lynch sound that makes it really stand out from the rest of the album. 

Disco Christmas in Hamsterland- Parry Gripp

DISCO HAMSTERLAND! If you can read this song's title and not want to hear it immediately, you have no soul. Thankfully, it delivers what it promises, with silly lyrics that include a disco style shout out to fuzzy animals, a glorious description of the hamster's party decorations, and a disco beat mixed with jingle bells. Seriously catchy and silly, it's a song not to listen to too many times, but to enjoy when you do. And seriously, the title alone is a masterpiece.

Fa La Freezing- My First Earthquake

A Jewish take on the holiday season, this is a perky fun take on the pull of cocoa and presents against being Jewish. While Hanukkah may be over, this song will commiserate with you. The video is also worth a watch, with great style and a fun homemade feel.  

Honorable mention- A Chipmunk Christmas

In this weird, 80's story album, we discover that Dave has been pushed into Jackson like management of his trio of Chipmunks, forcing them to work Christmas in the recording studio and threatening to take all of Alvin's presents if he doesn't record the song right. This gives it an A for teaching kids (and bored sarcastic 20 somethings) a life lesson much more useful than a normal christmas special: don't trust the recording industry.